Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character hope. Romans 5:3,4

April 12, 2012 I am still in shock after finding out my surgeon stopped the cancer at the primary site. The doctor who removed the mole led me to believe that I was too far gone for help. My surgeon did ask me if I wanted to participate in a melanoma research program. The program uses patients with melanoma to test new treatment options. I know research has to be done to find treatment options that can change melanoma from a fatal disease to a chronic illness. As a chronic illness, melanoma could at least be manageable until a cure if found. I have been reading medical research article (for layman) on the research being done now in melanoma. The new treatment options are promising in extending a person’s time but are far from treatments making it a chronic illness or a cure. So, I am undecided at this time. I want to participate because I feel my melanoma has a good chance of reoccurring and I want to be prepared. On the other hand, the treatments can cause a person to become sick (like with chemo and radiation). It may be worth getting sick. My mother died of pancreatic cancer. At the time, there were few treatment options that would have saved her. However, through research, pancreatic transplants are being done in experimental stages now. She may have a fighting chance if these transplants existed then. I may be able to help someone in the future, if I cannot help myself now. Since my diagnosis, surgery, and lab positive lab results, I have been walking around in a daze. The month of March 2012 was like a whirlwind. Everything happened so fast. I am excited I can go on with my life, scared that the cancer will come back, apprehensive in making any plans for the future only to have the cancer reoccur, and confused at times, not sure what to do. I want to go back to work. Being off and not having a regular routine or schedule is driving me crazy. I am concerned that my energy level will not be what it use to be. I guess I will have to give that more time.