Just as you believe in seas you've never sailed, so believe in a love you've never felt from the God you've never seen.

March 31, 2012 Soon it will be Easter Sunday. This is a beautiful time of the spiritual season for me. The Lord died on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. He rose and according to the scriptures, sits at the right hand of his father. He is waiting for us to come home to be with him in heaven. I began my journey home to the Lord some years ago. Unsure of my steps, I began to listen to Christian music on a local radio station. The words of many of the songs spoke directly to me. Listening to them put me on the path to Jesus. I had wondered aimlessly for so many years, looking for the purpose and meaning of my life, finding no answers. I began my walk with the Lord after a relationship ended badly. Instead of blaming the other person, I took responsibility for my behavior, asked the Lord for forgiveness for my sins and helped me to find my way. I needed guidance. I needed forgiveness. I needed the love and strength of my Holy Father. The journey has been marked by victories, set backs, trials, and my never ending prayers to the Lord. My library is filled with Christian books I have read over the past several years. The very first book I read was, “God’s Slow and Certain Light” by Elizabeth Elliot. I have read and reread this book many times. I learned how to pray in a more meaningful way to God, not just muttering words to prayers I learned as a child. Once the meaning of my prayers was learned, I began to pray with more feeling, more emotion. Slowly, I was able to reach the Lord, once I began to pray consistently, slowly, not rushed just to get the prayers done with so I could go to work or school, feeling my daily Christian duty was done. Prayers to the Lord are never just done or over with. They should never stop. Prayers, like our Lord, should go on forever, day in and day out. Out Father is there for us 24/7. Our prayers to him should be there 24/7 as well. The Lord is always on my mind. I have finally learned to walk in the light of the Lord, keeping him in my daily, hourly, consciousness. If I have a decision to make, I pray to the Lord. If I feel I have made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, I pray to the Lord. If I need guidance to get me through the day, I pray to the Lord. I also pray to the Lord asking what I can do for him. He has done so much for me in my life, now it is time to work for others in his name. As hard as I tried, I thought I was not succeeding. I would look back over my life at the changes I had made with the help of the Lord but felt it wasn’t enough. I wanted to do more to let the Lord I was working hard to become a better person. Little did I know that the Lord already knew of my work. Like the loving Father that he is, I believe now that he sat watching and smiling at me. I lived my life for many years in isolation of others, believing I was not good enough to be among them. When I did venture out, I was quiet, kept to myself, and for my years existed on the defensive looking for and expecting others to purposely hurt me or take advantage of me. I was a very gullible person. I had no convictions in my life. I just existed. I always took neutral positions on any controversial issues because I was afraid to express my opinion. I grew up in a home where I could not express my opinions, and I was not allowed to get angry or question anything my father said or did. I learned to be quiet, blend in, keep my mouth shut, and just exist. One of the worse things you can take from a person is his/her right to express themselves. When I learned that I was a planned entity of the Lord, and that he knew about me before I was born, I began to realize I was out here because the Lord wanted me to be here. If the Lord took the time to know the number of hairs on my head, I was worth something to him. Now my journey had come to a trial the Lord sent to me on March 2, 2012. Next Tuesday, April 3, 2012, I am having surgery to address the melanoma in my body. I must admit that this trial has got me thinking. I think about my past, my present, my future. I think about all of the people who have passed through my life. I think about how I have affected the lives of others, in a good or not so good way. All in all, I can honestly say that I lived my life to the best of my ability, and that not one day was wasted or lost. I was on a journey through this temporary life. Like all journeys that we think we have navigated alone, I made wrong turns, got lost, ran out of “gas,”fixed a few flat tires, and when I realized that I had traveled down the wrong path, I turned around, all with the love and guidance of the Lord. What a wonderful journey home, it has been!